Sunday, March 25, 2007

Sunday, 25 March 2007

The other day Kathryn was absorbed in play in her bedroom and didn't realize I was at her door. When I said hi to her she was startled and jumped a little. She turned to me with a big smile on her face and said, "Mommy! You made me sizzle!"

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Saturday, 24 March 2007

My first trip back to the US begins on Tuesday, 27 March. I am a bundle of mixed emotions. Gosh, what else is new?

On the one hand, I'm looking forward to floating again in the ocean of all-things-familiar. On the other hand, I'm not looking forward to stepping out of the wading pool of all-things-mostly-familiar. I'm surprised that today, re-entering the ocean feels a lot more like drowning than a nice dip in the waves and leaving the wading pool feels a lot like panic.

Sometimes I just wish I could react to a situation in a really normal way.

Hey, I'm going home! That sounds like joyful reunions and lots of fun! Yippee! Hey, I'm leaving a foreign country! That sounds like a relief! I'm going back to a place where my sense of humor is considered hilarious and people speak with the same accent as I do so I can understand most of what is said! Yea!

Instead of...

Hey! I'm going back to the States! It used to feel like home, and it still sort of does, but it sort of doesn't and it brings back a bit of that detached feeling of singleness and loneliness and what-do-I-do-with-myself-ness. Yippee. Hey! I'm leaving the foreign country of England...and my husband and my children and the home that is finally feeling a little bit like a real home to me. Yea.

I'm trying to work out a way to get back to California while I'm there. Because really, that's so much of what feels like home to me. I may only get three days there, but I need it. Bad. I just realized it this morning. A trip to the States would feel wrong without some time there. I need to see my brother and his family and my aunts and uncles and cousins and friends.

And I need to see my grandmother's grave for the first time. And her house without her in it. I need to see the video of her funeral so I can say goodbye to her for real.

This visit will be a lot of things. It will be about navigating changing nuances in relationships, about the reality of changed lives and lifestyles, about reconnecting, and about saying goodbye.

It would be a whole heck of a lot easier if this trip were about eating some really good Mexican food and buying clothes that fit and paying a lot less money for them, but meh! what would be the fun in that?

No angst, no fun. That's my motto.


Saturday, March 10, 2007

Saturday, 10 March 2007

I dropped a frozen chicken on my toe today.

This is funny because:

a) It simply is. I mean, how often do you get to answer the question, "Why are you limping?" with, "I dropped a frozen chicken on my toe."?

b) The icy poultry carcass really did, miraculously, hit only one toe. Go figure. Of course it hit the second toe, which is slightly longer than the Big Toe, so that could explain it.

P. S. Big Toes are the head honchos of the foot, so they deserve the respect of capital letters indicating title or rank. (In case you were wondering.)

P. P. S. I hear that means I'm really intelligent or really beautiful or really charming or something like that. Having a second toe slightly longer than the Big Toe, that is--not that I dropped a chicken on it.

P. P. P. S. This is one of the lamest entries I've ever posted, but I'm supposed to be writing a Primary talk for Hannah who has long since hit the hay, and I'm also supposed to be putting the final touches on a Relief Society lesson I'm teaching tomorrow morning, so as Queen of Avoidance, as well as Unzipping of the Gut, I am blogging instead.

Okay! I'm going already. Sheesh. Quit your nagging.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Friday, 2 March 2007

I cut my own fringe today.
(Translation: I cut my own bangs.)

I think it looks edgy and hip.
(Translation: I did a really bad job of it.)

I think I'll let my hair grow out.
(Translation: It's only 3.5 weeks until my butt is safely planted in the security of my US hairstylist's chair. She'll make it all better.)