Friday, December 30, 2005

Conjugal Rights

I've been married for three days & two nights and all I have to say is, if anyone tells you that sex is overrated, they're not doing it right.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Head Spinning

My grandmother passed away Friday morning at 3am. Four of her five children were with her. They all had the chance to say goodbye while she was still lucid. My brother sent an email to the extended family with memories of my grandmother and as I read through them I was struck by how multi-faceted she was. Sometimes I think I get caught in a rut of believing people are a certain thing all the time and then something happens to remind me that no one is a static being, that we are all ever changing and evolving (or de-evolving as the case may be). I, for one, am incredibly grateful for that because when I look back at the Kari that was, even 2 years ago, I shudder to think that I could have stayed that same person. I'm sure that I'll look back at myself, my now self, in the future and feel the same way--happy for the person I am and grateful for the experiences that pushed me to become a different me.

This is sounding a lot like some sort of preachy thing, so I will stop. I don't mean it to be. Sometimes I preach at myself in my head and since this is the physical manifestation of thoughts in my head...well, you can see where this is going.

The Children are here. We are all jammed into my little tiny condo but I can't tell you how happy I am every time I walk through the front door into this cramped, sometimes very messy and scattered environment, knowing they are here, waiting for me. My life changed completely, totally and irreversibly the night I picked them up from the airport and while I had some fearful moments contemplating the enormity of the transformation that was about to take place, I do not regret it for one second. I have no doubt I will have my moments of feeling completely overwhelmed and inadequate (ummm...I've had them already, thank you...lots of them) but I've been assured by some very experienced and very good parents that this is par for the course. Bottom line? I love them. I want them. I need them. I'm so very happy to have them in my life.

The Fiance, Tim will be here in two days. 59 hours to be exact. I'm not sure the minutes because I don't have a calculator and besides, that would seem much too far away for me to stand. We are getting married in one week. One week and two hours to be exact. At this point, anything left undone is just about guaranteed to stay undone. The important stuff is in place though. The children are here, he has plane reservations, we have a place and time to get married and our honeymoon plans have been made and confirmed. Oh, and I do have a dress arranged. That's a good thing, I'm sure.

My head is spinning, but I'm not getting sick. It's a good spin. The kind you have when you're wearing a new, full-skirted dress and you're turning around barefoot on your backyard lawn in the summertime.

A comparison for the men? Let's see...getting a new package of plastic army men and realizing they gave you an extra cannon by mistake so you can fully arm two whole armies?

Well, I've just been informed that the See's lollypops that I've provided for them are "vile". Ah well. The spin has taken another turn.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Update

My grandmother has taken a turn for the worse and is not expected to make it through the weekend. For several days she has been pointing heavenward and mouthing the words, "Home, Mart." My grandfather's name is Martel and she shortened it to Mart. He passed away in 1993. I think that's what we've all been praying for, that Grandpa will come for her soon. I'm sad for my mother. I don't care what age you are, the idea of being an orphan is disconcerting. There are no buffers after that. You're the next in line.

Grandma knows we love her and we know she loves us. In the end, that's really all that matters. And I'm sure she won't be able to keep herself away from popping in on us every once in awhile. She never could go very long without having to hear all the family gossip. This way, she gets to witness it all first hand. That will make her very happy indeed.

I wish for her a peaceful passing. And I'm jealous that she gets to see Grandpa and my cousin Katie again. I guess I'll just have to wait my turn.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

December 11, 2005

I find it ironic that I acquired most of my stuff with the idea that someday I would have a family and that all that stuff would be very useful for family-type moments, and now that I am getting one (a family) I have to get rid of most of my stuff.

Purging is good for the soul. That's what people with lots of time to philosophize say. At least, that's what people who I think know about things like that say that philosophers say. Maybe I should read some philosophy for myself. But then again, maybe I'd start to question my own existence, and at this stage in the game, I ain't got no time to wonder whether I'm really packing up my life and getting married or if I'm just one of 10,000 long-running TV series being played out on some giant's mega multi-media video screen. (And by the way, I already know I'd be one of the highest rated shows. I'm just that entertaining.) (Especially if they had some sort of cosmic mind-reading technology that typed my thoughts directly onto the screen. Now that would be wild. And very addicting. To giants. With mega multi-media video screens. And lots of time on their hands.)

I think after I've packed all the things I KNOW I want with me (England-bound) and packed all the things I MAY want with me later (relatives'-basements-bound), I will have a sort of fake, invitation-only Estate Sale where people I like can wander through my condo (aka, "Estate") and take things (after they ask my permission, of course) and then not pay me for them. (That's why it's a fake estate sale. Get it? Nothing will be sold. ) Or, people could pay me. I mean, who refuses cash? The point is, I want people I like to have the things that I like and then I'll feel sort of like someone who donates organs, like I'm a part of people, even after I'm gone.

People will have to remember me if they're constantly using that cheerfully vibrant purple plastic pitcher with six vibrant purple, green and blue matching glasses. Those are really fun to use for summer. In a back yard. For a barbeque. I'm going to have a back yard now. I'm going to have six kids. My fiance has a barbeque. I've seen it. Wait. Maybe I want those.

Okay, so they'll remember me because of the covered casserole dish with the delicate pastel floral design embossed on the side that they'll use to bake some Tamale Pie in for the church dinner. I've had that set for 19 years. It reminds me of when my sister came to visit me in my first adult-like apartment when I had my first adult-like job and she wanted me to buy the whole set and I did and then we cooked some fish in one of them and it was really good. I really like those casserole dishes. They're just the right sizes for so many recipes. Those could be really useful in England. They have churches there. And church dinners.

Well, I'm definitely letting someone have the Book of Tofu. I have never used it. I like tofu, but I just haven't eaten it a lot. My fiance is very health concious. He likes tofu. There are lots of recipes in there. Some even look kind of good. They have American cooking instructions. I'm taking my American measuring implements with me. It's a small book. Wouldn't take up too much space, really.

I'll let you know about the QZ Invitation Only Fake Estate Sale. I'll be having it for sure. I mean, afterall, I can't take the countertop American Harvest Jet Stream oven (with optional expander ring which enables the user to roast a chicken or bake a loaf of bread in half the normal baking time without heating up a big traditional oven) with me. It's wired for 110 volts versus 240 for England. The poor thing would fry. Of course, there are electrical converters...

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Hmmm...

My posts are starting to sound like columns. I'm not so sure that's a good thing. It may even be frowned upon in BlogWorld. Hey! Blog Police! Can I get a ruling here?

Day Three of the Big No Job Experiment

As the third day of my self-imposed exhile from all things 8-5 ends, I am left with the strange feeling that I have simply embarked on an extended holiday. (An unpaid holiday, sure...)

Someday soon the people at my job will call me and tell me that they were just kidding when they said I could leave if I just gathered my things and left without creating an incident. That's my current theory.

The first thing I noticed about my new, non-working status is that time goes really, really lots faster than when I was sitting at a desk inputting work order after work order after work order, answering phone call after phone call after phone call about the room that's way too hot because it's about 2.7 degrees hotter than normal or about that flickering light bulb that was reported two hours ago, and by gosh, hasn't been changed yet. I have real things to do now, people! I've got Christmas presents to buy and 20 years of belongings to sort and dump at D.I.! I've got bridal portraits to get gussied up for and special songs to burn on cds! Why the heck does 8 hours go by like 2 now that I need more time?? Why couldn't time have warped for me like that when I was getting paid to trudge through every day?? Is this what they call karma?

Karma called me today. She wants to go to lunch. I like her. It will be fun. We will go to lunch for 1-2 hours, but when I get home, 5 hours will have passed. That's just the way of things now. I've come to accept that the quickest errands will take an hour now instead of 15 minutes. That box that would have taken me 28 minutes to pack will still be open and untaped 2 hours and 45 minutes later.

I've got 10 days until the children arrive. Under normal circumstances, I should be able to get everything done by then. The way things are going now, the kitchen cupboards will still be full of dishes and the Martha Stewart magazines will still be on the shelf. Poor kids will be lucky if there's food in the house. Heck, they'll be lucky if I pick them up from the airport on time...

Friday, December 02, 2005

Changes

In less than 24 hours I will no longer have a job, access to a great computer and printer, an ATM just outside the building I work in, a master key that opens any door in the building and daily contact with collegues and friends who like me a lot. In less than 24 hours I will enter a world that is foreign and unpredictable and I will find myself in a more vulnerable position than I have ever been in my whole adult life. And frankly, considering what I'm trading my security for, I can live with that.